So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
