sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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