how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
