you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
