I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
