Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
