don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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