Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
