I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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