I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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