OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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