I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
