What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
