No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
they're like a gay fantastic four
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
