if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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