so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
