Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
