he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
