Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He's a Shit stain on my heart
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize