i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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