So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
