then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
