Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm bleeding and have questions
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
