in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you mean i was at the winter classic?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
