Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
