But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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