dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
