i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
