Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
