I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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