But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
