Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
