The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
