I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
