you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize