my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
