Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
