Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
