Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
