My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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