let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
