So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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