I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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