Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
