Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
