he shaved USA in his pubs
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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