We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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