$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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