idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
