Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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