Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
