i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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