drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize