Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
