we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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