Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
