I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
