I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This is the high leading the old right now
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
tell me about the eggs
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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