I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just pee around me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
