I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
