so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
