its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
