it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The air was thick with penises
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
