I wish I could teleport
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
