idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
