So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize