you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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