Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
