I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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