singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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