My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
