by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
