I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Then you guys just all showered together...?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
