we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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