Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
