Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize