I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
