obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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