i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
