I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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