hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
